I was going through resumes at my job today, and discovered that one of the applicants has a certificate in "Bereavement Studies," and has worked as a "Bereavement Volunteer."
My first thought?
"Holy Pants! This lady is an assassin!"
But it turns out that this is something that actually exists, and does not refer to inhumation.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Saturday, July 19, 2008
How to be an Alan Moore fan and not despair
Last night I saw The Dark Knight, which was excellent. I almost wrote a review, but I realized that no one on earth really needs me to tell them how much I liked it. I will, however, say PENCIL TRICK OMG!!
But there was something I saw last night that I would like to comment on, and that was the Watchmen trailer. Watchmen is, of course, unfilmable, even for Terry Gilliam. My friends and I have been apprehensive since we first heard of the movie adaptation, an apprehension that was not alleviated when we heard that it was being done by the man behind The 300 (though to be fair, the worst of that movie's sins can be traced back to its source material.)
Here's the thing, though. Did you watch the preview? If not, do so. If you can look past the odd music choice and Dr. Manhattan's codpiece, it's not bad. In fact, it's beautiful. They've recreated some of the most iconic panels in visually powerful ways.
This may mean that there is something salvageable in this movie. Of course it will probably fail as an adaptation of the graphic novel. It may, however, succeed as a series of set pieces, a collection of live-action tableaux which bring some of your favorite moments from the comic to the big screen. I doubt it will be enough to make up for everything that gets lost in the translation, but it might just be enough to create an enjoyable movie experience.
I realize that this isn't much to hope for, but far better to say "hey, look, it's Rorschach - and he's moving!" than "I want to throw up, because a piece of my soul just died."
But there was something I saw last night that I would like to comment on, and that was the Watchmen trailer. Watchmen is, of course, unfilmable, even for Terry Gilliam. My friends and I have been apprehensive since we first heard of the movie adaptation, an apprehension that was not alleviated when we heard that it was being done by the man behind The 300 (though to be fair, the worst of that movie's sins can be traced back to its source material.)
Here's the thing, though. Did you watch the preview? If not, do so. If you can look past the odd music choice and Dr. Manhattan's codpiece, it's not bad. In fact, it's beautiful. They've recreated some of the most iconic panels in visually powerful ways.
This may mean that there is something salvageable in this movie. Of course it will probably fail as an adaptation of the graphic novel. It may, however, succeed as a series of set pieces, a collection of live-action tableaux which bring some of your favorite moments from the comic to the big screen. I doubt it will be enough to make up for everything that gets lost in the translation, but it might just be enough to create an enjoyable movie experience.
I realize that this isn't much to hope for, but far better to say "hey, look, it's Rorschach - and he's moving!" than "I want to throw up, because a piece of my soul just died."
Friday, July 11, 2008
How to WIN at political blogging: Introduction
Hey there. Have you got a blog? No? Well, maybe you should start one.
There are a lot of different types of blogs that you could start. Maybe you have specialized knowledge about an interesting field. Maybe you have a hobby or profession you'd like to talk about and explore. Maybe you have an exciting life that others want to read about three paragraphs at a time.
But probably not.
But you know what you do have? An opinion! Like they say, opinions are like assholes: everyone's got one, and the more outrageous yours is, the more popular it will be on the internet. And what are the most outrageous opinions? That's right: political opinions. See, you're already qualified to be a blogger. I'll bet you think things about stuff. And I'll bet a lot of people agree with you.
But wait! You're thinking: "If I can be a political blogger, then anyone can be a political blogger. How can I stand out from the crowd?" That's why I'm offering this free ongoing course: How to WIN at political blogging. By the end of this course, you will be fully equipped to win.
What does it mean to win at political blogging? One word: Traffic. Page hits, incoming links, a first-page Google search appearance - this is what it means to win.
And the rewards of winning? Ad revenue. Book deals. Appearances on cable news shows. Adoring fans of your preferred gender. Oh yes, my friend. All of these can be yours. You can taste the awesome.
We'll start to get into the gritty details in our next lesson, but for now I'd like to leave you with
Geoffrey's First Axiom of Political Blogging: The purpose of a political blog is to reinforce the stereotypes of its readers.
"But Geoffrey," you protest, whiningly, "I want to contribute to the national conversation in a constructive way! I want to deliver astute analysis of the workings of power and opinion in the public sphere! I want to pursue truth!"
That's very nice. I'm sure your mother would be proud. I hope so, at least, because if you keep thinking like that she'll be your only reader.
Homework: Familiarize yourself with some of the popular political blogs. Here, I'll give you a head start.
There are a lot of different types of blogs that you could start. Maybe you have specialized knowledge about an interesting field. Maybe you have a hobby or profession you'd like to talk about and explore. Maybe you have an exciting life that others want to read about three paragraphs at a time.
But probably not.
But you know what you do have? An opinion! Like they say, opinions are like assholes: everyone's got one, and the more outrageous yours is, the more popular it will be on the internet. And what are the most outrageous opinions? That's right: political opinions. See, you're already qualified to be a blogger. I'll bet you think things about stuff. And I'll bet a lot of people agree with you.
But wait! You're thinking: "If I can be a political blogger, then anyone can be a political blogger. How can I stand out from the crowd?" That's why I'm offering this free ongoing course: How to WIN at political blogging. By the end of this course, you will be fully equipped to win.
What does it mean to win at political blogging? One word: Traffic. Page hits, incoming links, a first-page Google search appearance - this is what it means to win.
And the rewards of winning? Ad revenue. Book deals. Appearances on cable news shows. Adoring fans of your preferred gender. Oh yes, my friend. All of these can be yours. You can taste the awesome.
We'll start to get into the gritty details in our next lesson, but for now I'd like to leave you with
Geoffrey's First Axiom of Political Blogging: The purpose of a political blog is to reinforce the stereotypes of its readers.
"But Geoffrey," you protest, whiningly, "I want to contribute to the national conversation in a constructive way! I want to deliver astute analysis of the workings of power and opinion in the public sphere! I want to pursue truth!"
That's very nice. I'm sure your mother would be proud. I hope so, at least, because if you keep thinking like that she'll be your only reader.
Homework: Familiarize yourself with some of the popular political blogs. Here, I'll give you a head start.
Saturday, July 5, 2008
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Scribenda Cinema Reviews: Wall-E
How good is Wall-E? Let's put it this way: if Pixar's next movie were called "Throw Rocks at Geoffrey Whenever You See Him" I would still shell out $10.50 to see it. That's how good Wall-E is.
Friday, June 27, 2008
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